Who knew that my next time with you all would be during a global pandemic!
Steve and I have been abiding by the advice of the health experts to stay home and shop for necessities only, keeping a 2 metre distance from others. Well let me tell you something, I've been keeping pretty much to myself this winter but now that the government is telling me that I cannot visit friends, go walking on trails, and shop whenever I am bored - I feel a great loss to do all of the above!.
How silly of me. I now realize how much in my life I took for granted: the ability to come and go as I please at any time of the day, in this great country of ours; to shop wherever, whenever for whatever; to have multiple immune deficiencies but still feel safe going outside; to know I have the financial ability to have a roof over my head and a husband to share it with; to have friends I want to visit; to have a talent for painting (that's up for debate) in case I am tired of doing housework or the season's not right for gardening; to have a bank account that's not in the red (not yet anyways), and to know that I am deeply loved by a God who cares what's happening in this world that He created and with me personally.
These days I have found myself trying to balance my feelings of anger, grief, escapism, loneliness, and intense desire to know: know if/when this will end, will things be the same or different, will I survive this pandemic, will I lose someone close to me due to Covid-19, will we be financially ok after all is said and done, how can I help my neighbours through this crisis, how can I help the world at large, or can I? Is this the end, or is this a new beginning?
So many unanswered questions,scenarios, hourly updates, I sometimes find myself overwhelmed and resorting to quick fixes such as having a few glasses of wine and settling in for an evening of brain-dead Netflix movies, or, just the wine. Not good coping options...
So, on a positive note, I've been given a commission piece to create: a 16"x20" acrylic or oil and acrylic on canvas from a photo reference of a good friend of mine (from back in our B&B days up north). I've learned how to trim my hair with my husband's electric clipper and using a hand-held back mirror. I've stocked up on pet food, treats and cat litter so my furry friends are not feeling the Covid pinch. I am re-learning how to connect with friends beyond a Facebook "like" - like making a phone call - how novel! I am appreciating being near my husband (even though he is working from home at the kitchen table). I am constantly going out in or yard to see if anything has turned greener or if any perennials have popped out of the ground yet, thinking of ways to be a blessing to my immediate neighbours, and I am praying. Praying that this virus will be contained and eradicated. Praying that lives will be spared and people will become more loving and community oriented after this passes - which it will. Praying that those families who experience deep loss during this outbreak will find comfort and will be provided for. Praying that we will all come to know each other and God in a much more personal and life-altering way for the good of mankind. Until then, I will continue to get up in the morning and move through my day as if my life depends on it and that hope still abounds, and I will continue to paint.